The Pre-L.A. Required Reading List

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[Edit: I changed all the embedded videos to links, I was upset (to put it mildly) at the time it took to load this page.]

If you're like me (and hopefully you're not) you inject odd one-liners from TV shows and movies into everyday conversations, and unless you're talking to someone who's seen the same TV show or movie, it might get kinda awkward.

This post grew out of a conversation I had with Tom earlier today about him not having seen "The Princess Bride", which may not be my favorite movie, but nonetheless, the most complete sentence I can say in Japanese is the endlessly repeated phrase "Hello, my name is...", etc., in this clip. 'Douzo'...

The Princess Bride: My Name Is...

Having seen that, you'll have to laugh if I bust out my bad Japanese while you're around. As Tom mentioned, he and I will be roommates for the week and he'll have to put up with me (and vice versa) for the duration of AX and then some. We've got some common ground already, but just in case we need a quick laugh, or need to turn the conversation away from Jpop for a minute, here are a few more things I'd like anyone who's hoping to say 'hi' to have in common with me.

1.) Mystery Science Theater 3000 (MST3K), although it would take forever to learn every episode. I've been watching it for almost 20 years and still haven't seen every episode, nor do I 'get' every reference they make, but you gotta start somewhere. This particular episode, 'Cave Dwellers' is one of my favorites and has been in my VCR for months now. Here's a short clip, worth it for the very last line alone:

MST3K: Cave Dwellers (Breast Friends)

2.) John Pinette's "Get Out of the Line" bit; probably too relevant for AX and the ensuing chaos. (This *will* come up.) I had the honor of seeing him do this bit in person, and a co-worker and I (who share little else in common) still have a laugh over this, although we add (what he added when we saw him), "watch *me*!"

John Pinette: Lines Drive Me Crazy

3.) Dr. Katz, a low-key, badly-animated, but too-funny show about a psychiatrist who lives with his deadbeat 24-year-old son Ben. I own and have watched the entire series, and present two clips below:

Dr. Katz Professional Therapist: A Robbery with the Katz

Dr. Katz Professional Therapist: Ben + Phone - Dr. Katz = Impossible

4.) The Jerk, back when Steve Martin was nothing but funny. This may not be the best part of the film, but embodies my thought processes, humorously:

The Jerk: Are You Awake?

5.) Topper, a 1937 film (one of the first to be colorized, something I hate, but anyway...) Another low-key comedic style, but starring Cary Grant (never heard of him...) A bit of context; Cary Grant is the young, 'most valued stockholder' in the bank which Mr. Topper (the old guy) works. Topper is completely henpecked, while Mr. Kirby (Cary Grant) and his wife are bonafide alcoholics who spend the night in their car, on the street, prior to the annual stockholders' meeting. Watching this clip might be a bit of a challenge for those of you not into banking, or old movies, but the line "and no cents" is slowly making its way to my vernacular. Thanks to whoever put this up, this was indeed a hit back in the day, and Constance Bennett (the blonde wife of Cary Grant) is really cute. Back when functioning alcoholism was accepted and embraced:

Topper: Part 3

6.) Lasto, Beavis and Butt-head. A defining moment of my youth, although the non-video segments are funny, I'd never have been so open-minded about music; most of the videos they watched were already waaay out of rotation before they made a comeback of sorts, lampooned by the main characters. When Beavis and Butt-head watched videos (the calm within the storm), their comments were quick, relevant, and made of gold:

Beavis and Butt-head: Nirvana's 'Smells Like Teen Spirit'

Beavis and Butt-head: Men Without Hats 'Safety Dance'

There's also required listening, take Capsule's 'Jumper', for instance:

Capsule, 'Jumper'

Urbangarde's "Don't Take Off Your Sailor Fuku":

Urbangarde, 'Don't take off your sailor fuku'

and while we're in the mood, Perfume, the new single "One Room Disco", I've only heard a third of it, but it's fantastic, as always:

Perfume, 'One Room Disco'

Final item on my agenda: I just bought a Sony CyberShot camera, here's hoping I make it back from L.A. with the gol-durned thing, and a lot of photos to share. Here's my guitar for reference. I set up the background for effect, and also to see how detailed it can get, this is about 1/4 of the full-resolution:



You can see the woodgrain in the guitar and practically read the serial numbers on the cash. Mind you, the full-res version shows all the percussion instruments that the keyboard has to offer. Keep in mind that there was -zero- sunlight outdoors, and, when buying a good still-camera, something I hadn't thought about... make sure your camera has adequate flash power. It makes all the difference.

Less Than 30 Days 'Til...

(Long and Winding Post...)



I'm not nearly ready to head out to AX but it's coming right up, and fast. I've got so many things to do before then; let me check my list... oh, no, I still haven't started my list yet! First thing on my list is to make a list.

The purpose of this post (if I have one) is to remind myself that it's almost go-time, and to make sure I start getting a few things done before I go to Los Angeles. Which reminds me: if you're reading this, and you're gonna be there too, let me know with a comment below, or exchange email addresses with me at jyoru1211@gmail.com. I will definitely be down for meeting other Morning Musume fans and having a good time... Who knows what will happen?

My mind is reeling with questions at this point. How will I survive this? What's the concert going to be like? How far away am I going to be from the stage? Will I get to see them up close at some point? Will I, even though I'm quite certain I've taken every possible step so far to do so, actually see the concert at all? So many things could happen between now and then, I'm just trying to stay calm and to get prepared.

With each passing day the tension rises, both good and bad. Good, in that: I'm beyond excited to go support this group and see them in person; bad, in that: I'm not all too keen on flying and travelling to places unfamiliar to me. Just have to keep a good mindset of, 'this is going to happen and it's going to be one of the most surreal moments of my life, and I'll love every minute of it.' I've been a bit of a local killjoy lately and I'm hoping that this opportunity to be far, far away from home (yet strangely, closer to things I hold dear) will give me a chance to lighten up a bit and, hopefully, I'll even bring some of that change back home with me. We'll see.

One of the most dangerous things about being a fan of Japanese pop music is that eventually you'll like so many artists that it seems impossible to keep up with them all!

Before I headed over to JapanFiles to (legally) download the B-side to 'Naichau Kamo' (the one MM song I didn't have), I read a little of Matt_D's praise for Urbangarde. I had previewed some of their songs at Japanfiles a while back and thought they were fairly interesting (an understatement), but after seeing the video below, I simply had to buy that record. Gave the entirety of "Girls Only Live Twice" a few spins today and it's like falling in love, all over again.



With an adequate supply of creativity and artistry, what we have here is music made *by* crazy people *for* crazy people, so I'm enjoying it a lot. Sorry if I seem like a copycat, Matt, but I love this video, too... it should be posted on every website, ever. There are so many things I want to know about this band, like, would they be willing to play at my birthday party next year, and every year after that?

Any capsule fan should be able to appreciate this stuff. Switch back to capsule after hearing this, and it's still awesome, but feels a lot more straightforward. There are a couple of really cool slower songs on the Urbangarde record, but to me, right now, it's all about the unhindered ballistic insanity that's going on. Quite the welcome find before my journey to a different world.

I usually don't have problems with stage fright, but whilst I'm in L.A., if I can make it to the AX Idol microphone (in front of Tsunku) without losing my lunch, I'll be doing well. Listened to quite a few Sharam Q songs today and, yes, now it's starting to freak me out. Can't say he's the best singer that ever lived, but he's got me beat, for sure. I still just want to be able to say that it really happened, that he actually heard me sing a Kayo Aiko song. Can't beat that. With that as the goal, I'll be fine.

Ever intent on keeping my mind as open as it possibly can be, I did a bit more research on Los Angeles. Let's not forget that Los Angeles had to steal its own water supply because it's in an unlikely place for a city so large.

Let's not forget that, among other iconic stars, Rudolph Valentino made a living in the area and was laid to rest in nearby Hollywood. Saw a Valentino performance (and not clips of the hubbub surrounding his funeral) for the first time in my life, last night.

I even got a chance to see some clips of James Dean and watch a part of "Rebel Without a Cause" for the first time (before you jump on me about this, remember that the list of movies I haven't seen is endless). I've seen plenty of 'JD' imagery in my life, and the guy is an icon, regardless of what your own opinion may be. So far, "Rebel" seems like a good movie, and it doesn't have to be the Best Film Ever to merit a viewing; but I have good reason to believe that had he not died in his prime, he might possibly have been worshipped a little less. There, I said it.

The old Hollywood scene is so fascinating to me, because so many celebrities' lives were so intertwined (and some of those relationships continue today). So if I get the chance on an off-day, I may attempt to journey to Hollywood, see a few sights and say that I've been there.

Inevitably with me, the focus comes back to music, and the epitome of Southern California music was arguably done by the Beach Boys (you thought I was going to say Snoop Dogg, didn't ya? Well, I like his music, too.)

I discovered Pet Sounds years ago and join the chorus of praise for that record. Until the day you can come up with a better one, I don't want to hear any contrary opinions. Even Paul McCartney (okay, fire away...) once said of the album, "I figure no one is educated musically 'til they've heard that album." Strong words, good album, good group. Might be trendy to think the Beach Boys are cliché but when you strip away all the furor over the group, shut your mouth, and open your ears, they achieved their end-goal of creating beautiful music, forever to be associated with this part of the world, ugly as it can be at times.

It's not as if there aren't some very fascinating stories to be found in the Midwest. And it's also not as if people who've spent the majority of, or even just a small part of, their lives in Southern California don't have reason to hate the area. Still, as a music and film geek, there's more to be found out there than there ever will be here. Find a list of recordings done in Los Angeles, and chances are that you'll see at least one you couldn't live without. Les Paul comes to mind at this point.

So what could be more of a milestone in the life of a full-fledged wota and music/film geek, than to travel to this legendary place, not far from where once-obscure personalities like John Wayne and Johnny Carson, and even Ronald Reagan (look it up) had a common starting point, just to see Morning Musume perform for the first time on the US mainland?

I have arrived. No, wait, I haven't yet. But soon, I will arrive!

Things that Tick Me Off, Smugness, and the Best GD Record Ever Made

Well, I hope I don't come off too snotty with this post, so I'll try and keep it lighthearted and funny, and hopefully somebody agrees with me on some things. As this is my own forum, my own pink soapbox, where I call the shots, here goes. Don't be afraid to engage me in a debate on something; I try to keep an open mind and I don't like all the Internet-hate that tends to go around. We cool, just remember that.

Things that Tick Me Off

1. Comments (usually on youTube) where the commenter clearly hasn't spent even two seconds reading through the 10,000 previous comments that both answered their question and should have put the issue to rest.
You know what I'm talking about, random fan-vid, same thing over and over... "Q: That's a great song, who is this?" "A: It's Tom Petty." "Q: Who sings this song?" "A: Tom Petty." "Q: Wow, wish I knew who sang this song, who is it?" "A: Read the description, it's Tom Petty." "Q: Anyone know who this song is by?" "A: FOR ALL THE FIVE-YEAR-OLDS WHO CAN BUILD A TIME MACHINE BUT CAN'T READ COMMENTS, THE SONG IS BY BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN!" "A: That doesn't sound like Bruce Springsteen, who is this?"

Dammit! Is your blood boiling yet? Comments that are relative are great, and often fun to read, but this, seriously, has got to stop. This is ridiculous. Half of all the information on the internet has got to be ignorant questions that have already been asked. I'm exaggerating, slightly, because most of the exchanges like the one above have some severe misspellings.

2. Comments that begin with "I'm a professional writer..." and about three words after that, it's clear that this person should *not* be allowed near a computer.
It's never good to appear snobbish so early on in your comment, then lose any dignity you might have had if you just left out that one crucial detail. A professional writer might have some good skills, like usage, punctuation, spelling, and the ability to research, just a little bit. "I'm a professional writer, and we's gotsta gets uss sum morales. I'm so tierd of..." I put a shirt on one time, and somebody looked at me, so I suppose I can call myself a model. Come on.

3. Any comment (usually of a political nature) that begins with "OPEN YOUR EYES PEOPLE" or, somewhere uses the word "sheeple".
They're not going to open their eyes. 'Sheeple' is apt about once every ten years. And we're all porfessional wirters.

4. People who post romanizations or translations (or both) then boldy state that if you repost, CREDIT ME.
Okay, now I'm getting back to the issue at hand. I'll give credit where it's due, no problem; thanks to JimBob for the translation, I can dig that. But if your precious time is so valuable, then do the work, translate the song/show, and then keep it for yourself, if you're just in it for the satisfaction. People know no bounds anyway; a quick copy/paste, and it's been lifted, end of story. Often, there might even be no malicious intent, but if they fail to give you credit, what's the deal? You neither invented the English or Japanese language, and you didn't write the song or script. Really, the finished product is enough to be satisfied with, unless you just NEED to have throngs of admirers, in which case, yay for you, you did it! Now go in the room with all the anonymous people who've done thankless work, whose names have been lost to history. The Bible would be twice as thick if they'd spent enough time thanking the translators. My concern lies with crediting the songwriters/screenwriters who both created the work out of thin air or solid inspiration, and who actually own the rights to the original work. It's not only good karma, but for those who might be searching for a similar work will benefit as well. So there, on to...

Smugness
I can't help but feel a little more worldly than some of my contemporaries for listening to foreign music, along with plenty of American selections. But let's not get out of hand. Some of the music you love so much (hey there, Tsunku!) might be viewed by anyone, including the Japanese, as the 'same old crap they always do', so don't kiss your own ass too much. In the sixties, when sitar music was just coming into Western vogue, there had to have been a few people thinking, 'The fuckin' sitar? Again?' What sounds exotic to you is normal for some people. What sounds normal to you is exotic to some other people. Madonna, Mr. Kenny Chesney, and Britney are all being clamored for *as we speak* in foreign countries, because they just love how fresh it all sounds compared to their normal fare. I could care more about these artists, admittedly, but listening to the new Tanaka Reina song on repeat (Really? When's that coming out?) does *not* put you in a category above the rest of the music-listening world. It just means that's what you're into. Still, there is that possibility that you're listening to something so untouchable, so expressive, that you may in fact be touching God himself, in terms of worldliness. Which brings me to:

The Best GD Record Ever Made
...and I pity anyone who doesn't know about it or hasn't heard it by now. You've had plenty of time, OPEN YOUR EYES PEOPLE. Capsule's 'More! More! More!' is, to me, as note-perfect as any record ever will be. And you're still stuck on Led Zeppelin, you fool. I'll go so far as to say I will refund your $10 (you're up a penny, even) if you download this record from iTunes and it doesn't seriously, unapologetically, change your mind about the way music *should be*. You may have heard techno, you may even have heard Jpop, but you've never heard such a successful marriage of the two until you've lost some hearing in both ears from testing your stereo with this gem. As a lover of Pink Floyd's even-most-trite sound experiments, I say with no hesitation that when the smoke clears, and after you pick up all those pieces of speaker that have been blown across your home/car, when the record's over, you'll want to hear it again. And again, and again. "Q: That's a real good album, who's it by?"

SCORE!!!

Marking a record seven posts in one month, meanwhile providing some Aiko information.  I finally figured out something that's been bugging the crap out of me since the first time I heard this song (almost three years ago).

At the start of 'Fantasy', Aiko sings something I presumed was English, because I never knew what she said.  Looking back at my data, I noticed that the song was originally done by Virginelle.  Lo and behold, the first couplets in Aiko's version of 'Fantasy' are from the chorus of the original song. Listen to it here.

Aiko sings (are you ready for this?):

"Carry on too many times for love / I only played as ever with your heart

I don't know, it's like a fantasy / You're only mine, oh what a melody"

Listen to Aiko again, and that's exactly what she's saying.  This is the most English she's ever sung on record.  I know, it doesn't make a lot of sense, and I know, it's hard to understand Aiko when she sings in 'Engrish'.  But I finally figured out what she's singing!  And now you can sing along, too.

Then, a few minutes later I discovered this little tidbit.  Aiko sits in a cafe during the Aishite ne Motto video, and this same place is the setting for a Capsule video.  Capsule was produced by the same guy who produces Perfume, and also did 'cosmic cosmetics'.  Observe:

New 'New Year's resolution': acquire all the Capsule music ever made. This stuff is catchy as hell!