L.A. Story, Part 1: "Getting There"

I still have trouble believing that I was there. Not just the historic Morning Musume concert, but Los Angeles in general. It was even bigger than I expected it to be, and I expected it to be HUGE. One thing's for sure, H!P picked a helluva place to send a notorious homebody like myself on a weeklong soul-searching excursion.

I was kinda disappointed that I wasn't able to attend Sakura-Con and meet Hangry&Angry in Seattle. I had a lot going on back then and also figured that Seattle was quite a ways away. But in my several years of watching Morning Musume in videos and TV appearances (especially Utaban), I made a vow that if they ever came to the U.S., wherever it was, I would go.

So in a conversation with Tom on MSN right before Good Friday service I said, not thinking too seriously about it, "I'm going to look into the LA gig, what's it called?" Next morning I had bought a plane ticket, registered for Anime Expo, and put in for a hotel reservation. Once I saw plane tickets for $300 it took about 20 minutes and I was officially bound for the Expo.

I made a list the weekend prior, of all the things I wanted to get done before I left for the Expo. Some of them were necessities for the trip, others were intended to ease my return, like cleaning my house so I didn't return to a complete junkpit. And some of my chores bordered on the macabre, just in case I didn't make it back. A few things in my house still have the labels I put on them: "Please return this to (name here), it's not mine, I borrowed it." The weekend came and went, and finally the big day had arrived.

I live about two minutes from the airport in Des Moines. Dad picked me up and took me there so I wouldn't have to pay for a week of parking, practically in my own neighborhood. He didn't even park, just pulled up to the entryway to let me out. No long goodbyes, no words of wisdom, just a quick "see ya in a week" exchange and I was off to wait for the plane to board. Not that we're a sentimental bunch, but I thought he might want to see me off in a more conventional way. It's not like he had anything else to do that day, but in retrospect it was nice to be on my own for the start of this landmark journey. I reflected on my life so far and felt my stomach do flips as I listened to Hiro songs in the terminal. It was *much* better than the music being piped-in.

I didn't make it through the Xray process very quickly because I went a little over-the-top on my present for Tom. I thought it would be appropriate to bring him something unmistakeably Iowa, since he probably won't be coming here anytime soon. A quick brainstorm with a friend led us to this, literally a piece of Iowa...


It's a geode, if you haven't already guessed, a little bigger than a softball, and cracked in half to display the pretty crystals inside. I took half of it with me to give to Tom, and you should have seen the looks on the NSA people's faces when they saw that through the Xray machine. They didn't say anything to me, I thought they might go all "Code Red" and shut the airport down until they realized that it wasn't a threat. I waited patiently (while they called for a supervisor) to explain to them that it would in fact make a really crappy bomb, then told them, "I know what you're questioning, and you're welcome to search the bag."

They never did open the box, just wiped it with an Oxy pad and told me I was free to go. But they weren't real nice about it.

I warned Tom about this as I gave it to him on my last day in L.A., but apparently he slipped it back to England unnoticed. Good for him, fight the power!

My good friend/next-door-neighbor/coworker/frequent dining companion (all the same person) was generous enough to give Tom a signed copy of one of her books, "Grasp the Stars" (hint: you can buy it on Amazon):

Luckily for him, Tom actually reads sci-fi, so I think he liked it. Jennifer knows I'm not a sci-fi reader, but gave me the copy that you're looking at above. I might read it someday...

So, two hours after boarding the plane, I'm in Dallas. No need to tell me we're over Texas, looking at all the brown grass and muddy ponds from overhead. It made me trip out a bit because it takes 11 hours to get there in a car, and I know that for a fact. My brother spent four years at UNT in Denton, so I made the trip probably a dozen times by car, and had already flown to and from DFW twice. So it was a strangely familiar place despite being so far away. I hit the airport McDonalds for some en-route comfort food, and an hour later, we were in the air again and headed to LA.

There's something about flying that makes me feel like we're all just pieces of dust floating around at random. You probably aren't the type that does this, but whenever I'm on a plane I make up stories about all the random people who I'm travelling with; you know, imagining the human-interest newswires about us some ten years from now, on the anniversary of the gruesome crash we'd all be in... 'Timmy had just reconciled with his father and hadn't seen him for twenty years... and he never got the chance.'

Well, I'm not that worried about plane crashes but there have been few happier moments in my life than when they tell me I can get off the plane. Otherwise I'm just stuck in there, breathing the same air as everyone, at the mercy of the crew. After a couple of hours of staring down into the nothingness that is West Texas/New Mexico/Arizona, the pilot comes on and announces, "we are beginning our descent into Los Angeles International..." and I'm freaking out by that point, for several reasons.

1.) The reality of Anime Expo is about to come. 2.) Midwesterner about to arrive in Los Angeles for the first time (sure, you can have my wallet!) 3.) No more air travel for a week, and the pilot was nice enough not to crash the plane!

Suffice to say we landed at LAX after I saw from overhead several of the famous 52-lane freeways I'd seen on TV so often. There's 'urban sprawl' and then there's the Los Angeles metropolitan area. Jeepers, it's huge.

As I boarded the shuttle to the hotel, an Asian-American guy a little older than me spied my MiniMoni t-shirt and says, "I know what you're here for..." and proceeds to talk my ear off about fansubs and how he's moving to LA from New York, and we wished each other well when we parted ways at the Sheraton. As we were driving in I looked out the window and could say nothing but "damn!" to myself as the shuttle driver drove like a madman past the Convention Center, the Staples Center, the Denny's Restaurant, Library Tower, all of which I had only seen in pictures. If I was still questioning whether these places really existed, here was proof-positive.

I figured that the driver knew how to get to the Westin Bonaventure, but knowing my luck I'd get the guy who says, "biggest hotel in town, you say? I've been driving shuttles for 20 years and I've *never* heard of it..." But he gets to the curb, and one of the uniformed bellhops opens the van door and says, "Welcome to the Westin Bonaventure!" I'm thinking 'holy crap, how did I get here?' Nothing at all had gone wrong!

I decided to get checked in and contact Tom from the room, although on my way to the elevator I thought I recognized him from afar in the huge lobby. Since we'd never met in person before, I didn't feel like going up to a random person and asking, "Tom?" as they gave me a blank stare in return. Turns out it *was* him, but how was I to know for sure until he came up to the room?

Before he arrived I took a moment to get a shot of the view from our hotel room. The second picture is a view of the crosswalk, right before AX pandemonium took over the town...



Next: Part 2: "Day -1, Day 0, and the Wonderful Registration Process. Til then...

Going to California, Sans Heartache

No one should ever go so far as to call me a spontaneous person. I mainly just mind my own business and stick it out day after day, year after year, feeling as-stuck-in-the-midwest as anyone can feel. But my mood took a dramatic upswing in the last few days for very obvious reasons. Suddenly I have an urge to listen to every song ever written about California or Los Angeles, knowing that soon, real soon, I'll be seeing it with my own eyes.

Years ago, as a young rock-star-wannabe, I would stare at maps of Los Angeles for hours, trying to get a feel for how the town spreads out.  I would imagine where my future home would be, possibly tucked somewhere in the Hollywood Hills with plenty of parking available to models, other rock stars, millionaires, and party-crashers.  Also, I often dreamed of up-and-driving-there without notice to start a new life, because as pathetic as it may have turned out, I would have at least *tried* to bring change upon myself.  Those plans were at best unrealistic, and at worst really stupid.

I've been told many stories about Los Angeles;  most of them are unflattering, I hate to say.  I'm not sure if one of the best stories I've been told is true, but it's probably very likely, and a good story nonetheless.  

When a group of guys were trying to 'make it' as a big rock band in the 80's, their car (the only car any of the musicians had) was stolen.  Some days later, they found the car in a driveway not more than a couple of blocks away.  Whoever had stolen the car had not changed the locks or the ignition key;  so, having the key, the rightful owner got in and drove it home, only to find that a *wonderful* stereo system had been installed in the days it'd been gone.  There was really no recourse for the thief in a situation like that, so the hero of our story was blessed with a great new stereo and the car wasn't any worse for the wear.  If it didn't really happen to them, I'm quite sure this has been done in LA several times at some point.

People have asked me why I would want to live in Los Angeles, and in truth, I haven't wanted to in quite a while.   But there's just so much happening there, I'm sure that when I get back I'll be a little more comfortable on the city bus, laughing at the one horse we own, and feeling a bit more well-travelled than if I just stayed home and persisted in the mundane.  Los Angeles is, after all, the second-largest city in the US;  California is the most-populated and easily-most-eccentric place we've got, and I've never been there.  I may never go back, who knows, but I will unlikely be unable to forget what it's like.

Still, I'd like to think of myself as well-travelled, regionally, anyway.  I've been to Chicago several times and had the *privilege* of driving through it to a destination near Wrigley Field twice.  I'd taken the 'L' a few times with a friend who lives there, but on my last visit, took it alone for the first time, downtown, where it becomes a subway.  On the outside I tried to pretend that I'd done it so many times before, tried to give off the impression that if I could somehow get away from the daily grind of Chicago and get off this god-forsaken train that I had apparently known since birth, I would.  On the inside, though, I felt like a real farm-boy, though I haven't spent very much time in the rural areas, but nonetheless really nervous about taking the train by myself for the first time.  I lived to tell the tale.

So what happened to me?  Suddenly, without a lot of warning, I have agreed to spend a week in downtown Los Angeles, and it'll be worth it.

I still want to go to Japan, and still plan to do so, but this was too good of an opportunity to pass up.  Now, the reason I got into Japan and the culture wasn't the culture itself, but the people.  And to be more specific, it was certain people;  idols, to be exact.

If I were to go to Japan, attending a concert would probably be very unlikely, almost an afterthought.  So much time would be spent planning hotels and destinations, vacation time, money, and being able to read the signs, etc.  It would be very obvious that I was not from around there, and if I managed to find a good record store, I'd be doing good.  What are the odds that if I *did* go to Japan I'd manage to see any of the people who are responsible for my current obsession?

That all changed with the possibility of seeing Morning Musume perform at Anime Expo in Los Angeles this summer.  See details here, and go mad with jealousy at my comparative good luck.  Let me wallow in this for a while, because I don't get out often.  And on the other hand, I'm still not believing that this is actually going to happen.

I harbor a little bit of dissapointment that I won't be seeing °C-ute or Berryz Kobo, though if I'd seen them a little over a year ago, wouldn't have been star-struck anyway.  Morning Musume may have already reached its peak some time ago, and some of the most popular girls won't be there, but still, let's stop and think about who I'll be in the same room with.

For starters, no, it's not Aiko;  but at least two of them have definitely spoken to her, and shared some time backstage (or possibly the same bunk bed) with her during the Musume audition.

Let's see who I'll be seeing with my own two eyes.  A member of MiniMoni, albeit a latecomer, Ms. Takahashi Ai, and fellow 5th gen-er Niigaki Risa.  Both of these girls are hilariously gorgeous, have talked to Aiko at some point, were around back when 'Mr. Moonlight' came out, and by my calculations, hold the title for being in Morning Musume longer than anyone else in history.

Next, the 6th gen of Kamei Eri, Michishige Sayumi, and Tanaka Reina, all swimsuit models in a former life, apparently:

'Nuff said.

And, if that weren't enough, the almighty Ms. Kusumi Koharu will be there;  so Rainbow Pink, (my favorite super-group) will be reunited, so to speak, with a surrounding ensemble.  Plus, have I ever mentioned that I really like Koha-chan?

Mitsui Aika, the sole Japanese rep of the 8th gen, will be there.  As much as I tried to ignore her, seriously, tenacity is one of her better qualities, and if she encountered me alone on the street, proclaiming that she was a Musume, I'd stop her in the middle of her spiel.  "You're friggin' Mitsui!" I would exclaim, and then we would go back to my castle and live happily ever after.

Here's the hard part.  The other two 8th gen-ers Junjun and Linlin will also be there, but for the life of me, I can't tell them apart.  Blame it on me being racist and having a bit of trouble accepting Chinese girls into my favorite Japanese group.  Or, blame it on me looking the other way when they joined, and just generally not keeping up with Morning Musume in recent days.  Either way, a *lot* of good things have been said about these two, and I usually listen to my online peers when it comes to talent.  I just haven't seen much of them, and unlike, say, Yuko and Rika, there's not a big age/personality difference for me to latch on to.  I can't tell any other two Asian girls apart, so don't get too offended, I'm just an idiot about these things.

So, my goal in life is to see me some idols, and this is quite the collection.  No need to get a passport and the flight itself is about 1/6th the amount I'd be paying to get to Japan, no idol-seeing included.  Add to that the fact that I'll be amongst friends unknown, Japanophiles all.  I'm not a huge anime fan, but there'll be plenty of cool (and cutting edge) things to see there.

Consider this to be another notch scratched on my belt.  Been to California, been to LA, and if things hold out, I'd have stayed but a block away from Library Tower.  It's still partially up in the air, but in all actuality, I have a plane ticket to Los Angeles and admission to the Expo gate.  So it's as if I've already been there, short of telling Kusumi (to her face) that I love her.  Did I mention that I really like Kusumi Koharu?