The Pre-L.A. Required Reading List

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[Edit: I changed all the embedded videos to links, I was upset (to put it mildly) at the time it took to load this page.]

If you're like me (and hopefully you're not) you inject odd one-liners from TV shows and movies into everyday conversations, and unless you're talking to someone who's seen the same TV show or movie, it might get kinda awkward.

This post grew out of a conversation I had with Tom earlier today about him not having seen "The Princess Bride", which may not be my favorite movie, but nonetheless, the most complete sentence I can say in Japanese is the endlessly repeated phrase "Hello, my name is...", etc., in this clip. 'Douzo'...

The Princess Bride: My Name Is...

Having seen that, you'll have to laugh if I bust out my bad Japanese while you're around. As Tom mentioned, he and I will be roommates for the week and he'll have to put up with me (and vice versa) for the duration of AX and then some. We've got some common ground already, but just in case we need a quick laugh, or need to turn the conversation away from Jpop for a minute, here are a few more things I'd like anyone who's hoping to say 'hi' to have in common with me.

1.) Mystery Science Theater 3000 (MST3K), although it would take forever to learn every episode. I've been watching it for almost 20 years and still haven't seen every episode, nor do I 'get' every reference they make, but you gotta start somewhere. This particular episode, 'Cave Dwellers' is one of my favorites and has been in my VCR for months now. Here's a short clip, worth it for the very last line alone:

MST3K: Cave Dwellers (Breast Friends)

2.) John Pinette's "Get Out of the Line" bit; probably too relevant for AX and the ensuing chaos. (This *will* come up.) I had the honor of seeing him do this bit in person, and a co-worker and I (who share little else in common) still have a laugh over this, although we add (what he added when we saw him), "watch *me*!"

John Pinette: Lines Drive Me Crazy

3.) Dr. Katz, a low-key, badly-animated, but too-funny show about a psychiatrist who lives with his deadbeat 24-year-old son Ben. I own and have watched the entire series, and present two clips below:

Dr. Katz Professional Therapist: A Robbery with the Katz

Dr. Katz Professional Therapist: Ben + Phone - Dr. Katz = Impossible

4.) The Jerk, back when Steve Martin was nothing but funny. This may not be the best part of the film, but embodies my thought processes, humorously:

The Jerk: Are You Awake?

5.) Topper, a 1937 film (one of the first to be colorized, something I hate, but anyway...) Another low-key comedic style, but starring Cary Grant (never heard of him...) A bit of context; Cary Grant is the young, 'most valued stockholder' in the bank which Mr. Topper (the old guy) works. Topper is completely henpecked, while Mr. Kirby (Cary Grant) and his wife are bonafide alcoholics who spend the night in their car, on the street, prior to the annual stockholders' meeting. Watching this clip might be a bit of a challenge for those of you not into banking, or old movies, but the line "and no cents" is slowly making its way to my vernacular. Thanks to whoever put this up, this was indeed a hit back in the day, and Constance Bennett (the blonde wife of Cary Grant) is really cute. Back when functioning alcoholism was accepted and embraced:

Topper: Part 3

6.) Lasto, Beavis and Butt-head. A defining moment of my youth, although the non-video segments are funny, I'd never have been so open-minded about music; most of the videos they watched were already waaay out of rotation before they made a comeback of sorts, lampooned by the main characters. When Beavis and Butt-head watched videos (the calm within the storm), their comments were quick, relevant, and made of gold:

Beavis and Butt-head: Nirvana's 'Smells Like Teen Spirit'

Beavis and Butt-head: Men Without Hats 'Safety Dance'

There's also required listening, take Capsule's 'Jumper', for instance:

Capsule, 'Jumper'

Urbangarde's "Don't Take Off Your Sailor Fuku":

Urbangarde, 'Don't take off your sailor fuku'

and while we're in the mood, Perfume, the new single "One Room Disco", I've only heard a third of it, but it's fantastic, as always:

Perfume, 'One Room Disco'

Final item on my agenda: I just bought a Sony CyberShot camera, here's hoping I make it back from L.A. with the gol-durned thing, and a lot of photos to share. Here's my guitar for reference. I set up the background for effect, and also to see how detailed it can get, this is about 1/4 of the full-resolution:



You can see the woodgrain in the guitar and practically read the serial numbers on the cash. Mind you, the full-res version shows all the percussion instruments that the keyboard has to offer. Keep in mind that there was -zero- sunlight outdoors, and, when buying a good still-camera, something I hadn't thought about... make sure your camera has adequate flash power. It makes all the difference.

New Stuff

A whole month's worth of new Japanese music arrived in one glorious package.

First, there was Perfume's 'DREAM FIGHTER' and I respond with a resounding Hell Yeah to that!  The single continues Perfume's musical progression, and the c/w, "Negai" is a slow, hypnotic song that's got me very captivated.  It ends with a somber piano rendition of the main theme (an actual piano, perhaps) and doubtless, I'm still very much on the Perfume boat.

Next, Morning Musume released 'Cover You', a must-have tribute album to legendary (well, NOW you've heard of...) writer Aku Yuu.  A grand cover album in the tradition of W's first record; though W's covers still kick some unquestionable ass, here's some more songs to find the originals of.  Songs like Pepper Keibu (original) and (MM revamped).  A quick fan fave is 'Koi no Dial 6700', but there are 14 in total, like 'Dou ni mo Tomaranai' (or check out this version), or: oh-my-god-it's-chock-full'a-Japanesey-goodness 'Pin Pon Pan Taisou'. It seems like a couple of people have heard this song before. Untold numbers of J-kids singing and dancing in unison, with mecha-robots... they really know how to warm my heart. Is that Aya Matsuura MC'ing?

Finally, the first release of all these, SPEED's triumphant return with 'Ashita no Sora' and c/w 'Something New' which may be, in fact, too funky (not possible).  Again we get a line like 'Let's go out to the street' (?)  Somebody do a bit of research on Okinawa street gangs and reassure me that there aren't rampant amounts of dancing female foursomes blowing each other away for drugs and such.

But brace yourselves, gentle readers; I hate to break this to you, but there is one track I may never listen to again:  the 'White Love～STEADY～Body&Soul 2008' medley.  If this track serves only one purpose, it's to acclimate our ears to the sound of a much-older SPEED singing our old favorites on their new tour.  After that, well...

For good measure, they made sure to employ every available gospel singer to back them up on this one.  This isn't their weak spot, and it never was.  Always plenty of gospel singers wailing away on some really good SPEED tracks, and even if they're going over the top singing about things like 'Kiwi Love bayayayayaby wowowowowowowowowowowow!' (whatever that means), it'd be blasphemy not to have all them gospellers.

Every SPEED medley, even from back in the day, suffers because the songs contained within are on average 5 minutes at least, which meant they really had a beginning and an end, and the journey was magnificent.  To chop them off at around 2 minutes each denies the full force of the message and the spaces between sound like 'fuck it, let's do a different song now'.  There's no effort to combine these songs into one cohesive work that matches the profundity of any of the originals.

But my main opposition to this recording is that, look, Hiro and Eriko are ten years older now, and they're not screaming at the top of their lungs like they used to.  Which happens to be their old trademark, and what endeared me to those old songs in the first place.  Anybody who tries to build a time machine and go back to give them some control or nuance that they didn't have then should be killed before a good thing gets ruined.

Ladies, you're all beautiful and talented, but if this isn't you anymore, don't pretend.  Sing a whole set of new songs, throw in the odd oldie here and there.  But I'm kinda disappointed that you spent any time on this song, because you already recorded it years ago, and we still have it on CD.  And for every imitation you do of your thirteen-year-old selves, I wonder whether it's because you think you can do it better now, or because you think it'll be just as good as it was before (or the third, most likely answer: because the producers demanded it).  Seriously, I can put the old (real) 'STEADY' on repeat for weeks at a time if I miss it that much.

I don't mind the new 'heavier' backing tracks that come with the medley, and someday we may get to hear the new music with the old voices.  But time has moved on, and as much as I *love* the new songs, no matter how hard you try (with every available technology), you just can't recapture a moment.

A Big Plug for Perfume

If I was to go back in time about ten years to tell my former punk-rock self that my new favorite music is Japanese techno-pop, I might catch a bit of flak.  On the other hand, the old me might be intrigued by the idea, and demand to listen to it.  As the music I love now would not have been made at that point, it might cause a rip in the time-space continuum and destroy the world.

Since I can't be a time-traveler, I don't spend too much time worrying about destroying my old habits.  Rather, I'm spending most of my time designing speakers that are 100 feet in diameter so I can blast the new Perfume record "GAME" and introduce everyone on the continent to its genius.

I first became aware of Perfume after their producer Nakata Yasutaka worked with Ms. Kayo Aiko for her 'cosmic cosmetics' single.  

Their style is almost always a mix of candy-pop and hard techno.  It didn't take me long to buy a few of their records, namely "Complete Best" and "Fan Service - Sweet", but I waited a long time to receive "Complete Best" because it was selling like crazy all over the world.  Despite having never been to Japan, my taste has matched theirs in the past couple of years.

Perfume put out a couple more singles, "Polyrhythm" and "Baby Cruisin' Love" before they released their second record, which is "GAME".  After I thoroughly exhausted the "Complete Best" CD and previewing the new singles, I thought that they may have reached their creative peak.  Everything after seemed to sound the same to me, and my opinion was that they were releasing the same song again and again, only with new words to fill the chorus section.  

So I held off on buying "GAME";  what a BIG mistake that was.  One listen and I've become convinced that this is one of the best albums ever made.  Every track is good, but the next track is even better!  Again, the Japanese share my sentiments:  the album and the follow-up single "love the world" both reached #1 over the summer.

I can't think of a group more deserving of such success.  Though I've become used to it over time, the first listening of "Electro-World" was an unforgettable experience.  It sounded as if a Nintendo had exploded, joined the Beatles, and channeled the spirit of 'Thriller'-era Michael Jackson.  In other words, an untouchable electronic hit!

It's notable and fitting that the girls are from Hiroshima.  Some 60 years after we caused unprecedented devastation to their future home, Nocchi, Kashiyuka, and A-chan rise from the ashes and show the world how music is supposed to be made.  The usual question of 'who is your favorite?' does not come into play;  to choose one is to eliminate two other perfectly capable (and desirable) girls from the wota repertoire.  They're like the Borg.

But, like most girl-groups, they depend largely on their producer who deserves the musical equivalent of the Nobel Prize for coming up with this stuff.  I might be more inclined to go clubbing if they'd play Perfume songs at a deafening volume around here but, sadly, they don't. I'm so tempted to go sneak a song in, just to wake everyone up.

But for now, it's back to work on those giant speakers.