With little exception, I'm sure that nearly every Morning Musume fan at AX went there for the purpose of seeing Morning Musume; be it their performance, or the Q&A session, or to see them up close and get an autograph. Obviously, those were my reasons as well -- not to finally get a chance to eat at the acclaimed California Pizza Kitchen, or to ride the elevator used in the movie "Forget Paris", though I did both.
So to say the least, I was excited about nothing more than seeing Morning Musume in Los Angeles this summer. But as I boarded that first airplane I couldn't have felt farther away from idol culture. All the formalities of security checks, all the power of jet fuel and airline corporations, all the mayhem which goes on at airports like LAX and DFW... there just didn't seem to be any connection to 9 very pretty girls who I've watched grow up from my living room.
And yet, all the research and planning that I'd done before the trip, to make sure that I got where I needed to be to witness the Expo, paid off. As we drove into downtown L.A. I saw more than a handful of sites which were unmistakeably linked with my adoptive neighborhood, and I knew I was getting close, but just how close?
There are very, very few people in my hometown who are of Japanese descent -- a sizeable amount of Asians, but very few Japanese -- so if and when I see them, they stick out like a sore thumb. In turn, even though the first glimpse I got of Morning Musume was at the Opening Ceremonies in poor lighting, they were unmistakeable. To me, they appeared *unapologetically* Japanese (with, of course, the exception of JunJun and LinLin, the Chinese members, but they know how to play ball). There was something intangibly noble and elegant (and, to be honest, from my perspective, downright freaky) about their appearance, the way they carried themselves, and how they interacted with each other. They were clearly visitors from a strange land, and although their faces had been burned into my memory for years, by showing up in person they lost that normalness and became exotic to me, again.
I try not to play favorites with any idols because when I listen to an album like Platinum9, just surfing the aural waves from start to finish, there's little room to complain. If I've got the time, I'm spinning the whole disc, skipping nothing, and every performer has her place.
But when they showed up in front of me without introduction I recognized some more than others. Koha, I picked her out right away. Sayu, with noticeable white pom-poms on each pigtail, was easy to keep an eye on. Takahashi, I could just tell, because that body haunts my dreams. And Eri; back in the day, she was the last one whose name I could keep straight, but now I could spot her from a mile away. ("Hatachi," good God...)
For some reason, I just got confused at first when I saw JunJun, thinking, 'they've got *2* Reina's now?" "Is that Nacchi?" "I thought Kaori graduated..." But in my defense, your average American would have trouble distinguishing any 9 Asian girls, let alone the 25 infamous members throughout history, so I just kept staring until I figured out who she was. I ain't got nothing against her, she just got lost in a sea of pretty Asian girls within my memory bank.
I've never owned a photobook. I have a few Morning Musume singles but bought them all used. The *one* H!P concert DVD I own is "Matsuura Aya/W/Melon Kinenbi", and I've watched it maybe once, and even then watched only a few songs. Most of the Morning Musume songs I have on my iPod were bought from the Apple Store. These are all things I realized while I stared starstruck at the girls while they were a short distance from me and hundreds of other fans at AX.
I've written about them a number of times, starting with Koha oh-so-long-ago. And as I've said, it's hard to find anyone around here who might give damn-number-one about them or anything Japanese. So before I went to AX I rightly considered myself a pretty big fan. After all, I'd listened to practically every song they ever made (and it's a huge catalog, still growing), tried to take in as many Utaban apppearances as they'd ever done, and even watched Haromoni more than a couple of times. And, oh yeah, I've seen *every* Ayaka's "Totsugeki Eikaiwa!!!" segment, as well.
But without Kayo Aiko, I'd know nothing of Japan. For me, there'd be no Perfume, Capsule, SPEED, Pink Lady, The Peanuts, Yumin, Dream, Nanase Hoshii and Seventh Tarz Armstrong, Nagasawa Nao, Saito Michi, SMAP, W, Minimoni, Tanpopo, Biyuden, Berryz Kobo, C-ute, GAM, Matsuura Aya, Hangry & Angry, Kirarin, Buono!, Hiro, Coco d'Or, or Sharam Q... and without Ms. Kayo Aiko, I'd certainly know nothing of Morning Musume.
And if it was Ms. Kayo Aiko who drew me into the world of Jpop and taught me most of the Japanese words I know, it was those Morning Musume television appearances that really got me over the headache of listening to spoken Japanese, clueless, until I began to break it down into words and really understand what was being said.
Obviously, there's been no official tally, but around my hometown it seems that there is no bigger Morning Musume fan than me. But at AX it was all-too-obvious. At the Q&A, listening to all the on-mic fans gushing and asking for things like the 'Atto Pose' (still, no clue on that), it finally hit me... I really *am* more of a casual Morning Musume fan.
Still, seeing them in person was a whole different experience. My mind tried to form words to explain what was happening. "They are *right* there," I kept telling myself, "*Right* there." At the Opening Ceremonies, the Q&A, the concert, I stared in disbelief. And though they put in their time, and I had plenty of opportunities to relish their presence, I felt that even *if* the moment lasted another fifty years, it still wouldn't be enough. I would always want more.
In those moments my thoughts strayed to all facets of fandom, be it for Aiko or Mi-chan, Perfume, or Urbangarde.
What really struck me is that it's completely impossible to 'get inside' an idol. And I mean that in every sense of the word, not just the obvious (male) sense. There's just no getting inside there. As a 'normal' person, you'll never know the joy (or torture) that these idols face in their lives. You'll never be able to think like them, and in your lifetime you will never come close to knowing what being an idol truly means. You can try to stare a hole through Koha (and believe me, I fuckin' tried...) but in the end, it doesn't change her, it won't magically alter your lifestyle, and it doesn't bring you any closer to divinity. I mean, damn the fact that it doesn't, but it just doesn't. All you can hope to do is stare in admiration (as I and many others did) and hold on to that memory.
This is not to say that idols do not have a profound impact on our lives as fans. But after travelling 2,000-some miles just to see them, I was surprised to find out that the true soul-maintenance was not idol-spotting, but bonding with fellow fans. It seemed that no matter what side of the world we grew up on, how many years we've been alive, and despite the fact that we all had never spoken (at least not in real-life) prior to meeting up at AX, there were so many striking similarities between us all.
Until I saw the Momusu concert, it was only in legend that everyone got together, waved glowsticks, and screamed their heads off (to the beat) at a concert. Further on in the weekend, watching the "Miru, Aina Kase, and Yozuca*" mini-concert, it was the fan-bonding that really impressed me. And even at that small performance, it was touching how much everyone got into it. The idols -- all they do is dance around, look cute, and sing for a while, and yet our collective passion endures. We just can't wait for the next time we can all go nuts and jump around to a funky J-Beat.
The whole system parallels a Big Rock Concert where everyone hangs out in the parking lot until admission and cranks up the "rock-band-du-jour" on the the car stereo, getting pumped for the show. Sayu and Koha can hang out in Los Angeles for the rest of their lives and they'll never match the excitement that a group of fans (in Momusu's case, some 8,000 of them) can bring to a show.
What is also fantastic to know is that the girls probably had just as good of a time travelling to L.A. as we did. See this video, for example.
So after AX, we have all returned to our respective corners and have made our memories our own. But apparently it's become fashionable to bash fans who aren't in the same community, or on the same board as "the rest of us". This is an attitude we *do not need*, because it does not advance our cause. To simultaneously want to recruit other domestic fans, yet shun those who don't share our view exactly, is a contradiction.
Fans, there was never a better time to be inclusive.
Anyone who likes Morning Musume is a friend; even if my mortal enemy was in the crowd at the AX concert, it wouldn't have stopped me from enjoying the show. As an admitted casual fan, would you show me disrespect for enjoying the group in general?
I get the feeling from some facets that, yes, I neither know what I'm talking about, and that I should just shut up.
It almost makes me want to quit the blogging game altogether so that only "true fans" can evangelize H!P to the blind. Because clearly, I am not a "true fan" like they are.
But the idea that I'm less of a fan than someone who's known them for ten-years-plus, this is clearly a bigoted assumption. If you want Morning Musume to come back to the USA, frequently, you'll just have to admit that fans come in all shapes and sizes.
So, the last thing I may ever write about H!P (with the exception of the "Koha Kontest", stay tuned...) is that, no matter how the haters try and show off the ugly side of Risako, she still just looks like a normal (pretty) girl, no matter how ugly you'd like to think she might be.